Breaking My Heart
by Kory Anders
Summary: Starfire's take before Apprentice, but after Masks. songfic in chapter one to Foolish Games. implied SfRo CHAPTER 3 UP! (Complete)
1. Foolish Games

D/C: There is no ownership between me, Teen Titans (WB), and the song _Foolish Games_ (which belongs to Jewel). The plotline is in between Masks and Apprentice. I am quite aware that they are not back to back, but it revolves around Robin's obsession with catching Slade (as always), and it's from Starfire's point of view. Thus there are implied hints of RoSf.

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**_Breaking my Heart_**

_You took your coat off and stood in the rain,_

_You're always crazy like that._

            He is standing out there again. I fear soon he shall become ill with an earthly disease. He claims he stands out there to think about things, which he has been doing often.

_And I watched from my window,_

_Always felt I was outside looking in on you._

            The rain is leaking in again. Soon Cyborg will enter and tell me to shut the window. I just want to be sure that Robin is not yelling for one of us while he is out there. Perhaps he will require our assistance in the Slade case. That is what I tell Raven when she questions my seat. She replies that this is just wishful thinking.

_You're always the mysterious one with_

_Dark eyes and careless hair,_

            I could clearly see him, he was dripping wet. His mask has shown no sign of falling off. I imagine that his eyes are a beautiful dark blue, like the ocean when the clouds are dark. It certainly would fit him well; there is still so much I need to learn about him. According to Beast Boy Robin has a very dark past.

_You were fashionably sensitive_

_But too cool to care._

            He knows much about me. I trust him and willingly told him about my family and my home planet. He seemed to know the proper way to react when I sob, or say something entertaining. Yet under other circumstances he acts emotionless.

_You stood in my doorway, with nothing to say_

_Besides some comment on the weather._

            There is a knock on my door and I leave my window. Robin has come inside so there is less of a need for me to worry. The door slides open to reveal him, dripping wet and looking pale. I immediately pull him into my room. _X' Hal; he is freezing_, he willing sits down and I notice the color returning to his cheeks.

            "It's cold out there,"

_Well in case you failed to notice,_

_In case you failed to see,_

            I sigh and retrieve a blanket. His lips turn upwards the tiniest bit; I can feel myself glow with happiness. He says: "Thanks Star, I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have a friend like you," then leaves.

_This is my heart bleeding before you,_

_This is me down on my knees, and..._

            I do not why he does such things; I have clearly proclaimed to him that I have feelings for him. Raven says that boys are oblivious to hints of the stubble variety. At first I thought that Robin could not be oblivious for he is very intelligent, but as time progressed I became aware that he was not picking up on what I have been telling him.

Though I have done everything but tell him bluntly that I'm in love with him.

_ These foolish games are tearing me apart_

            I suppose he does not gather these hints because he is always so busy with his work; trying to decode Slade's cryptic clues as if it is some sort of game. He doesn't realize the effect that it has on the team.

_And your thoughtless words are breaking my heart._

_You're breaking my heart._

            He didn't realize how much it hurt to be shut out. Once he snapped at me for delivering him breakfast. That was the only contact that he had with anyone for about three days. Somehow he stayed alive; I suppose that's because of his midnight coffee breaks.

_You're always brilliant in the morning,_

_Smoking your cigarettes and talking over coffee._

I had discovered these breaks and immediately took part in them. Staying up until midnight preparing his coffee so that I would have time to converse with him. Each night the dark rings under his masked eyes would become more noticeable. Although each time I confronted him he would say that everything was fine.

_Your philosophies on art, Baroque moved you._

_You loved Mozart and you'd speak of your loved ones_

_As I clumsily strummed my guitar._

            He explains things to me at the kitchen table. I think he enjoys a break from the Slade case. These breaks are short, yes, but shortly after he is seated he leans back into the chair he sits on. Slowly he opens up about his family, and past. All the while I sit listening patiently stirring my cup of tea.

_You'd teach me of honest things,_

_Things that were daring, things that were clean._

_Things that knew what an honest dollar did mean._

            I know that these conversations are good for the both of us. He trusts me more than anyone else I think. He speaks of his old mentor and everything that he learned from Mr. Wayne. Soon though he yawns pours another mug of coffee and returns to his sleeping chamber.

_I hid my soiled hands behind my back._

_Somewhere along the line, I must've gone _

_Off track with you._

            I leap up and rush to him before he shuts his door to say: "Good night Robin, I wish you luck on the case, and perhaps pleasant dreams." Suddenly he is no longer the Robin I have just spoken to, his face turns hard and his eyes narrow, and then the door shuts. The last thing I hear is; I can't sleep with Slade on the lose.

_Well, excuse me, guess I've mistaken you for somebody else,_

_Somebody who gave a damn,_

            I touch the cold door briefly before turning and going back to my room. _I thought Robin was different…_

_Somebody more like myself._

My door opens and I sit on my bed not wishing to sleep. Sadly I do not have the endurance that Robin possesses and sleep overcomes me, and until I wake I live in a world without Slade.

_These foolish games are tearing me apart_

_And your thoughtless words are breaking my heart._

_You're breaking my heart._

He was doing it again, although he didn't know it. Slowly he was crushing my heart.

_You took your coat off,_

            Tonight Robin walked out of his room again as the rain hits the windows. For once instead of sitting by my window I stand up and fly outside to join him. The others protest claiming that I will freeze, and I reply "If I freeze at least I shall know that I am freezing by Robin."

_Stood in the rain,_

            I walk towards him only to hear him whisper, "Why can't I catch him?" I look down, and walk away. _Why do I always expect him to change?_

_You're always crazy like that._

So here I am again, by my window hoping that he will require some sort of assistance.

End

So, read and review. Constructive criticism allowed Flames are not


	2. Vindicated

Being one to seek approval I have composed a second chapter to Breaking My Heart, this chapter is not a song fic. So read and enjoy, this chapter is based off of Vindicated by Dashboard Confessional from the Spider Man 2 sound track

_Cut to mirror your intentions_

_Oversized and overwhelmed_

_The shine of which has caught my eye_

_And rendered me so isolated, so motivated_

_I am certain now that_

_I am Vindicated_

_ "Vindicated" Dashboard Confessional_

**Chapter Two: Vindicated**

            Lightning ripples through my room, exposing everything in a pure light for an instant. Storms have always frightened me; I never really used to mind though because Robin was with me. He always promised that nothing bad would happen to me.

            It does not seem as if he cares anymore about such things. All that matters is Slade. Just thinking his name makes me ill; Slade is the reason I feel hate. _He has taken Robin away from me,_ my mind states this often, and I suppose that that is why I loathe Slade. 

            My body feels cold as the door slides open, "Star, close the window," Cyborg demands as he usually does, normally I would not oblige, but today I do. My windowsill is covered in water from the rain. "Hey, why don't you come into the living room and watch a movie with us?" Cyborg suggests. I shake my head.

            "Perhaps another night Cyborg, I am quite tired." Which is not a lie, I will watch a movie with them another night, and I am very tired, but that is not why I will not view the video tonight. Tonight Raven will be choosing the video, which more than likely will be frightening, and Robin will not be there to inform me that the villains are not real.

            So tonight I will sleep, and listen to calming music. Slowly I rise to rummage through my discs until I stumble across one that I have never listened to before, the writing is clear and reads Dashboard Confessional. I have heard the others speak of this band before and insert the disc into my box of boom.

            The first song begins with a nice melody of guitars and the vocalist has a very soothing effect on me. He begins singing about begin captivated by hope, and the music grows louder. I rest my head on the edge of my mattress and feel at peace. Until a knock pulls me out of my calm.

            With a small sigh I rise to answer it, _it is probably Cyborg or Beast Boy trying to lure me out. _ I punch in the code to open it, only to meet the masked eyes of Robin. "Yes?" I ask silently telling myself, _do not let him in Starfire, resist the urge to invite him in, he does not care about how you feel, and you heard him all that matters to him is catching Slade._

            "Star, we need to talk. Can I come in?" His mask is rose higher on one side expressing curiosity, my brain yells _no, tell him no Starfire, have you no pride?_

            "I suppose," I shrug casually ignoring the pestering remarks in my head. I move to the side allowing him to enter, shutting the door behind me, and flicking on the lights. He sits down on my floor and faces the box of boom briefly and looks curiously at me once more.

            "This doesn't really seem like your style," he gestures towards the music. I sit on the floor as well and yet again shrug. He quietly begins to sing along, he sings beautifully, even if I am in the process of trying to ignore him. He stops abruptly according to his eyes he did not realize that he was singing aloud, he clears his throat and begins to speak again: "Starfire, are you mad at me?"

            "No Robin, why would you think I was?" I ask. A memory of one of the wise things Raven has said appears in my mind _Boys don't notice if you're lying or not, they don't really seem to pick up on the sarcasm, _I remember this and hope that it works, for if it is true Robin will drop the subject.

            "Because I can see it in your eyes," He declares gently, _he is making being angry very difficult_, "you're upset about something, and I'm taking a guess to say that it's because of me."

            "Is Slade the only thing you think about?" I ask before I can stop myself.  Some how I think he knew that my question would be this, for he does not look shocked.

            "No," he does not sound defensive. "I think about other things too,"

            "Such as," I begin for him.  He stares blankly in thought. _Foolish girl, you thought he would say your name; it is obvious that he will never feel such emotion towards you_. "Never mind Robin, perhaps you should leave," He looks shocked momentarily.

            "I'm sorry Star," he apologized. I look at him as if to ask why? He answers my silent question, "I'm sorry for being selfish and not spending more time with you guys. I just want to keep everyone safe." _Oh brave heroic Robin! You are wonderful,_ my brain rejoices.

            "It is all right Robin" I whisper trying to soothe him. "I understand."

            "Star I've been horrible, how can you be so forgiving?" confusion is woven into his voice. _X' Hal I will not cry_, I think as my eyes begin to water. "Why are you crying?" he asks touching my cheek with a gloved hand.

            I open my mouth to reply when another bolt of lightning strikes and destroys the lights. "Robin? Where have the lights gone?" I ask. I feel his hand upon mine.

            "Don't worry it's just a power outage, the storm must have knocked the power out. Let's go into the living room with the others," I can feel him pull me up and we walk to the door, only to discover "it's jammed shut," Robin mutters. The electricity must have broken the doors as well.

            "I shall retrieve the various flame bearing objects," I walk into my bathroom in search of my tiny torches until I find them. I place them around my room and light them with starbolts. "We have light now." I inform him. Robin nods and I join him on the floor. "What do we do now?"

            "We wait," he answers

End Two

A/N: there will be one more chapter after this. I'm sorry if this was lame, I don't like the turn out, but I don't think I can make it better. To my lovely reviewers:

Flying Star too lazy to sign in: we seem to do that a lot don't we (not sign in to review) I feel special now that I know someone appreciates my descriptions of angst drama stuff. Thanks

S t a r s h in e W e ir do: thanks for the sequel chapter inspiration, I read your review and was listening to my Spiderman (I don't own) 2 sound track and heard the song Vindicated and said to my friend "I can so totally do a sequel to Breaking My Heart!" your little candle thing gave me some plans too

Inus-Kagome: Thank you, I'm glad you chose to read my song fic and enjoyed it.

SuNsHiNe10: I would say it is a _very_ popular song amongst these parts. I'm glad to hear you like my style and happy that you enjoyed my non damsel Starfire, and fiend-ish Robin.

Waterangel17: thanks

I'll get chapter 3 up soon, I'll give you the title of it though: **Tuesday Morning**: it's a Michelle Branch song.


	3. Tuesday Morning

This is my last chapter in Braking my Heart entitled Tuesday Morning, from the song by Michelle Branch. Thanks to s t a r s h I n e w e I r d o for unintentionally giving me the candle idea (at least I think it was unintentional) so here we are the final chapter

_Please don't drive me home tonight_

_'Cause I don't wanna feel alone_

_Tuesday morning_

_In the dark_

_We were finding out_

_Who we are-_

_            Michelle Branch _

**Tuesday Morning**

   I sit for a few minutes calmly processing the fact that I am trapped in my bedroom. I am trapped in my bedroom with Robin, as in the Robin I have had very pleasant daydreams about. The thought should not make me feel nervous; I have been alone with Robin various times before, only not trapped.

   It strikes me as odd; I think I know everything about him sometimes. He walks as if he carries the weight of the world on his shoulders, tries hard to seem emotionless, and at the same time tries to make sure I comprehend everything that is happening. Yet there are so many things I do not know about his past.

   I look at his mask; it is another barrier between me and him. If he removes it he is no longer Robin but the human self that I long to learn about. He notices me examining him and gives me a questioning look, "what do they look like?" I ask. His mask grows large on one side, "your eyes,"

   "They're blue." He answers, not exactly what I was hoping for. Perhaps something along the lines of: _"Your eyes,"_ then he would say _"Why don't you tell me,"_ and slowly he would guide my hands towards his mask granting me permission to remove his mask. Of course Robin is too secretive to allow me to do something such as that.

   But I only reply "oh," I feel dejected. I think he notices as well, though knowing him he will not say anything else about it. _How many times must I tell you, he only cares about catching the criminal, and even if he were to fall in love it would not be with you. He would wish for someone that understood everything and did not pester him with questions._ I sigh sadly, I know my mind is right, he could never love me.

   "What did I say?" he asks the top of his mask slopes down with some rare form of compassion. _Do not be a pest Starfire, he obviously does not wish for you to view his eyes, leave it be._ I shake my head as if to say _nothing_. He does notbelieve me. "Really tell me,"

   "I was just thinking about something else," I retaliated. Robin does not believe me. "Honestly, I was just thinking about something else, and it causes me sadness."

   "What were you thinking about?" he asks.

   "Something from my planet," I explain. _What are you doing?_ He looks interested. "On my planet the eyes are gates into your soul. By looking into another beings eyes their intentions and emotions are revealed." _Just stop talking_. "Talking about eyes just makes me a bit homesick I suppose." I finish yet again ignoring my criticizing mind. _Are you that daft? Robin is not, he will realize what you were talking about and surely loathe you_.

   "I see," _I see! I see, is that all you can say?_ "Well I think I may have heard something like that on Earth as well." _Calm down, you knew deep down that he would avoid it; you may never see his eyes. _I release a breath in defeat, why is he so oblivious? I think he is realizing what I meant. "Star," his tone is pleading "you have to understand without my mask I'm not a crime fighter anymore,"

   "You are not a super hero because of your mask," _X' Hal I feel like I'm talking to an infant. _"You are a super hero because of your will to save others."

   He shakes his head with irritation. 'That's not it Star, this mask conceals a part of me. A part that I'm not really interested in remembering."

   "But Mary Jane knew who Spiderman was! He told her!" _Great Starfire bring in the comic books and cartoons._

   "That's different"

   "How so? They were friends,"

   "Can we drop this please?"

   "No we cannot! Tell me how was it different?" I ask angrily.

   "They were in love!" He shouts back.

   I feel a wave of shock rush upon me. "So nobody on the team has seen your eyes,"

   "I didn't say that." Irritation returns to his voice, but I continue to pursue.

   "Then who has?"

   "Everyone, the whole team."

   I think my heart has stopped. No it's back now, only to be accompanied by tears that swell in my eyes and blur my vision. If I am to speak the lump in my throat would cause me to be ill. "Everyone?" my voice is shaking as I hold back tears. He opens his mouth, but I do not allow him to speak. "Well then forgive me," the tears build up even more, "I did not realize that I was not part of the team." I inhale, "I think I shall be going to bed now. I do not care to converse with you anymore."

   "Star," he begins.

   "I am Starfire to you. From here on I shall be able to sleep soundly without worrying about you and waiting for you to enter the kitchen. I will not be cold and wet before I sleep either because I will not sit by my window with false hopes that _maybe_ you will need my help. I am glad I know how you really feel." _Oh X' Hal how could you allow me to feel such powerful emotions towards him? I cannot bear to be here with him any longer._ 

"Furthermore" I narrow my eyes at him, "I shall leave tomorrow, seeing as I am merely an inconvenience." His head jerks up in response with his mask wide. "Imagine;" I hiccup, "no more pathetic little alien girl to worry about. You would be free to do whatever you wanted without me tagging along and asking foolish questions."

He mutters something.

"You could work all day and night for all anyone else cares! Nobody else would try to bring you meals, or wait until dawn to speak to you even if they are exhausted." Tears finally escape my eyes. "Nobody else cares the way I do, I am just sorry that you did not notice" I turn away and allow the tears to freely fall from my eyes. I whisper in the coldest voice that I can muster, "from tomorrow on you are free to spend every waking hour to search for Slade. Nobody will disturb you for any reason, I'll be sure of it." I look to him for his reaction only to see that he has moved.

"I'm sorry," I look at him, kneeling on the ground in front of me. "Don't leave."

_Be strong_, "My mind is set. Nothing you say or do can change that." I say in my most confident voice. I glance at him to see a familiar look cross his face _determination_. With one swift motion he reaches up and tears off his mask.

"Are you happy now?" He shouts. I am speechless. For once I see who he really is. I can feel his beautiful ocean blue eyes bore into me._ Am I happy now? I am ecstatic._

"If this was about me being happy Robin," I begin.

"I'm not Robin, I'm Dick Grayson. Ex-member of the Flying Grayson's, and heir to a billionaire's fortune, just a typical guy."

_ Forget being cruel._ "You are not typical." I but in, "with or without your mask you will always be Robin to me." I sigh and smile. "And if you must know I _am_ very happy right now."

"You know something about me. I think I should be entitled to know something about you."

"Robin, you know just about every thing about me."

"Tell me what I don't know." He persists.

"You know that I am Koriand'r of Tamaran." I pause and remember what I have not told him. "I am the youngest of three and heir to the royal Tameranian throne."

"Royal? As in you're a princess?" he asks.

"Yes I am," I reply.

"Wow." I cannot resist giggling at him.

"Where are your parents? They must be proud of your accomplishments."

His eyes go cold and hard.

"Forgive me; I see my question distresses you. You do not need to answer." I look down.

"They're dead," he answers. I look back at him. "They died a long time ago, I'm used to it."

"I am sorry, I did not know."

"Forget about it." He grumbles.

_Beast boy was right, his past was very tragic. I only wish that there was some way to comfort him._ I react to my thoughts and do the only thing I can manage; pull him into a hug and making sure that I do not crush him. "It is all right now, you still have all of us, and we will always love you." _Some differently than others_, my mind adds.

Slowly he brings his head up; momentarily I fear that he can read my thoughts. I look into his eyes, I dread and anticipate what he is about to say; yet he says nothing. The only thing he does is move his face nearer towards mine._ He's going to kiss me!_ Centimeters remain, and

A strange noise sounds, and the lights return. My door slides open and Beast Boy enters. "Come on dudes, the movie's starting!" He stopped "Am I interrupting?" I notice that Robin and I have not altered our positions.

"No, of course not," Robin says firmly. I notice that he has returned his mask.

"Well then come on!" Beast Boy demands in a childish voice. Robin says:

"I'm gonna skip out on the movie."

I sigh dejectedly. "Perhaps another night," Beast Boy walks out. Robin and I are alone again. He begins to walk out; _Say something, anything, just do not let him return to solitude!_ "Robin wait!"

"I'm sorry Star, I have to get back to work." He turns back to walk out.

"Promise me that you will not get too caught up in catching Slade."

"Star,"

"Do not _Star_ me, promise." I command.

"I promise Star." He leans up and lightly grazes my cheek with is lips. Then he walks out.

My hand strays o my cheek, _maybe he can change._

End

Wow, thanks everyone I was camping the entire weekend for Independence Day. Thank the heavens my parents let me have my internet access cell phone, every time I checked my e-mail I had some reviews, you all made my camping trip and bug bites a lot better. Thanks in great part too:

 S t a r s h I n e w e I r d o: for encouraging me to continue this story. I hope you enjoyed it. Thanks for reviewing Stockholm syndrome too, I agree it was confusing to me as I feared, my friend told me _it'll be fine, you worry too much_. And for reviewing Again I go Unnoticed, I'm glad you enjoyed those and hope that you enjoy this. By the way I'm sorry for making you cry,

TeenTitansGirl14: I think you got me back for making her cry. I was crying when I read this. That was really nice of you; I'm glad that it was one of the best song fics that you've ever read. My friends tell me that I'm a lot like Starfire; I suppose that's why I think it's cool to write from her point of view. I'm happy you like my song choices.

JC-Titans143: I'm glad you like it. You owe that plan to s t a r s h I n e w e I r d o, she mentioned something of the sort in her first review.

Littleredflame08: Yes! I nearly made you cry, glad you liked, and you were with me when I finished writing this so there really isn't much to say.

Flying Star almost always too lazy to sign in(): Yeah same here on the signing in, I like that nifty little stay logged in thing though very helpful. I'm happy that you didn't think it was lame, for that reassured me that I could keep writing. This chapter doesn't have as much angst, but I would say there's a good amount. These darn teenage hormones really get me in the angst section.

Rochelle(): Thanks!

dracos-kiki: I've heard the not one for song fics before, I'm glad that you liked it though.

Hey if anyone's interested in helping me come up with a title for my newest story it would be greatly appreciated. I'll post the summary in here:

Robin and Starfire are a detective team, Robin's always taken Star for granted, but when a new suave client comes to seek their help and has his sights on Star, and things start to change.

If you have any ideas tell them in your review.


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